To encourage men to show up for gender equity events, invite them in person instead of sending an e-mail. Getty Images

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Ask Women and Work

Question: We’re trying to get more men engaged in our discussions and activities around gender equity in our workplace. How can we get them more involved?

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We asked Toronto-based hospitality industry recruiter and sommelier Val Upfold to tackle this one:

I spoke at an International Women’s Day event last year and out of the 100 or so people on the virtual call, just two were men. So this is a problem that comes up a lot.

First off, I think it’s important to personally invite men to these kinds of events instead of just sending an e-mail because I think some men may wonder if it’s an event just for women. Go for a coffee with a male colleague to invite him to take part as an ally. Also, consider rebranding so these are not just women’s groups or events, but women and allies.

When a man does show up to an event, positively reinforce it. Lean on him and say, ‘Hey, can you get some other men involved?’ Let him know that you need him to talk about these conversations with other men so it’s more normalized to be involved.

Another benefit of a one-on-one meeting is you can share stories about times that you’ve been spoken over in a meeting or passed over for a stretch assignment so he better understands the challenges. There have been studies that show men often think they are doing more than they are to advance gender equity. Once you’ve had that one-on-one discussion with him, he could become someone who will advocate and speak up for you in those meetings.

I’ve had this experience. Years ago, I was a restaurant manager who wanted to get into HR. There was a vice-president of operations for a large restaurant group who would advocate for me in meetings because I had made that connection with him. He would put my name forward for projects or promotions when they came up.

During the Women’s Day event I referenced earlier, we asked the two men who attended why they came and they both said, ‘Well, I have daughters.’ That connection might come up in a one-on-one too. Not everyone has a daughter, but they will have a mother, an aunt or a sister. That might be a way to help them understand why these sorts of events matter.

We still live in an era where men are usually the ones running the businesses. The workplace is run by men and designed by men, so they are the ones who need to speak up, take action and consciously pull women up.

Submit your own questions to Ask Women and Work by e-mailing us at GWC@globeandmail.com.

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